NOTES:

The RESOLUTION Goal: 

I will work for RESOLUTION and not VICTORY.

Healthy couples fight CLEAN. Unhealthy couples fight DIRTY.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19–20 (NLT)

RULES FOR THE FIGHT:

1. BE QUICK TO LISTEN

2. BE SLOW TO SPEAK

3. BE SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY

FOUR HORSEMEN OF AN UNFAIR FIGHT: (DR. JOHN GOTTMAN)

1. CRITICIZING

2. CONTEMPT

3. DEFENSIVENESS

4. STONEWALLING

HOW TO RESPOND IN CONFLICT:

1. DON’T REACT IN EMOTION, RESPOND IN THE SPIRIT.

2. CONFRONT TO HEAL AND NOT TO WIN.

3. FORGIVE. APOLOGIZE.

4. RUN TOWARDS RECONNECTION

BOTTOM LINE:

Don’t fight against each other.

Fight against the enemy and fight for your marriage.

THE CHALLENGE:

Use the BLESSING TOOL.